my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Randomize
