my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
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