i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize