no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
