Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Randomize
