were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
She made me pour olive oil on her.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Randomize
