chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
You took a bar mat shot.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Randomize
