so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Randomize