Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
