just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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