my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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