Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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