If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Randomize