Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize