she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
