So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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