You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Randomize
