Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
