hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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