it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
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