I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
