Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
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