I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
