the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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