how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Randomize
