There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Randomize
