you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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