I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
