escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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