ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Randomize
