I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
