that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
