I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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