Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
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