saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Randomize
