someone get that fucking seahorse.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize
