i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize