He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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