So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
