You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I think people are normalizing furries
Randomize
