Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Randomize
