Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
