Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Blood and glitter go together right?
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Randomize
