I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
is this the sara with the beer cane?
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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