I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
bring money and cleavage
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize