I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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