Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
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