My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
