this will be a night to untag.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
