OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Randomize