I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
