so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Randomize
