I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
