yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
We had sex on a dog bed..
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
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