scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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