I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize