so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
