That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Come on in and take your pants off
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