Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
